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Danske citater:

  • At være fader er at foregive, at den gave, du elsker mest, er sæbe-pĂĄ-en-snor.
  • Et ord til den kloge er unødvendigt - det er de dumme, der behøver rĂĄd.
  • GrĂĄt hĂĄr er Guds graffiti.
  • Lad os nu fremsætte en af de grundlæggende sandheder om ægteskabet: hustruen bestemmer.
  • Menesket er den eneste dyr pĂĄ jorden, som tillader deres børn at vende tilbage til hjemmet.


Engelske citater:

  • A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
  • Advertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.
  • Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
  • Children today know more about sex than I or my father did.
  • Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
  • Gray hair is God's graffiti.
  • Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
  • I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.
  • I am not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it. I don't know when I lost it. I don't think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job and I don't want it.
  • I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
  • I wasn't always black... There was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.
  • If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
  • In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
  • Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
  • Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
  • Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.
  • My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.
  • Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.
  • Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.
  • Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.
  • The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.
  • The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
  • The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.
  • The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.
  • The truth is that parents are not really interrested in justice. They just want quiet.
  • When you become senile, you won't know it.





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