Danske citater:

• Alle mennesker som os er vi, og alle andre er de.
• Alt taget i betragtning, er der kun to slags mennesker i verden. Dem der bliver hjemme og dem der ikke gør det.
• Du er en bedre mand end jeg, Gunga Din!
• En kvinde er kun en kvinde, men en god cigar er en smøg.
• En kvindes gæt er meget mere præcist end en mands vished.
• Jeg har netop læst, at jeg er død. Husk at slette mig i deres abonnementsliste.
• Jeg har seks ærlige tjenere [de har lært mig alt, hvad jeg ved]; Deres navne er Hvad og Hvorfor og Hvor og Hvordan og HvornÃ¥r og Hvem.
• Kan du holde hovedet koldt, mens alle omkring dig taber deres, vil de give dig skylden.
• Katten gik sine egne veje, og alle steder forekom ham ens.
• LÃ¥n sorger selv, hvis det er din natur, men lÃ¥n dem ikke til din nabo.
• Vi har fyrre millioner grunde til at fejle, men ikke én eneste undskyldning.

Engelske citater:

• A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
• A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty.
• All the people like us are We, And everyone else is They.
• All we have of freedom - all we use or know - This our fathers bought for us, long and long ago.
• An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy.
• And the first rude sketch that the world had seen was joy to his mighty heart, till the Devil whispered behind the leaves "It's pretty, but is it Art?"
• Being kissed by a man who didn't wax his moustache was--like eating an egg without salt.
• Borrow trouble for yourself, if that's your nature, but don't lend it to your neighbors.
• Daughter am I in my mother’s house; But mistress in my own.
• For the sin they do by two and two they must pay for one by one.
• For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.
• God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.
• I always prefer to believe the best of everybody - it saves so much trouble.
• I keep six honest serving-men, (They taught me all I knew); Their names are What and Why and When, And How and Where and Who.
• I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards.
• If you can keep your wits about you while all others are losing theirs, and blaming you.... The world will be yours and everything in it, what's more, you'll be a man, my son.
• It takes a great deal of Christianity to wipe out uncivilized Eastern instincts such as falling in love at first sight.
• More men are killed by overwork than the importance of the world justifies.
• People say that what we're all seeking is the meaning of life... I think that what we're really seeking is the experience of being alive.
• Power without responsibility: the prerogative of the harlot throughout the ages.
• Take my word for it, the silliest woman can manage a clever man, but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.
• The American has no language, he has a dialect, slang, provincialism, accent and so forth.
• The female of the species is more deadly than the male.
• The sin they do two by two they must pay for one by one.
• They copied all they could follow, but they couldn't copy my mind so I left them sweating and stealing a year and a half behind.
• We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse.
• Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.
• You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!